Educating a Friend

  • Me: So, let's say that you're at school and you see a guy you know. I mean, you guys talk every once in a while and he's pretty cool, but you're not like friends or anything. You just talk to him every once in a while.
  • Guy Friend: What's his name?
  • Me: I don't know. Frank?
  • Guy Friend: No.
  • Me: Okay, fine. His name is Will. Okay?
  • Guy Friend: I don't think it really suits him, but okay.
  • Me: ...So anyway, you're at school during lunchtime and you see Will. So, you notice Will's not eating anything. That's when you realize that Will has no lunch, no money for lunch, and no way of getting either. He's just sitting there like he normally would. He's not acting any differently and he's not asking anyone for anything. Not money, not a fry, not even a salt packet, but you know he's gotta be hungry. So, what do you do?
  • Guy Friend: Do I have any money?
  • Me: Yeah. You have enough for you and another meal.
  • Guy Friend: Duh, I buy him lunch.
  • Me: Okay, cool. So, like you said, you buy him lunch. You buy your lunch and you buy his lunch and you go over and hand it to him. And, he says, "Wow. You know, that's really nice of you, but I wasn't gonna ask anyone for lunch. I was probably just gonna wait until I got home to eat." And, then you say--
  • Guy Friend: Nah, it's cool.
  • Me: Exactly. You say, "Nah, it's cool. I'm just being nice. It's a gift." And, Will says, "You know, that's awesome. You're really nice, bro." And, after that, you guys start hanging out. You guys are like really good buds. You are always hanging out and laughing and just having a good time. So, you guys are friends for a few months, and it's tons of fun. Then, one day, you go up to Will and you say, "Hey, Will, you know, I've been thinking, and I kinda want that five bucks."
  • Guy Friend: What five bucks?
  • Me: Hold on. I'm getting there. So, Will says, "What five bucks?" To which, you reply, "Well, we've been hanging out for a long time and it's been really fun, but like, I've done a lot of really nice things for you. Like, I'm always nice to you and I always listen and do things you wanna do, so I was thinking that because I've been so nice, you should pay me back that five bucks I spent to get your lunch right before we started really hanging out."
  • Guy Friend: What? Why would I--
  • Me: I'm not done yet. So, then Will looks kinda hurt and he says, "But I thought you were just being nice. I thought that was just a gift." So, you say, "Whether or not it was a gift, don't you think you kinda owe me that five bucks since I've been so nice to you?" And, Will says, "No. I don't think I owe you that!" And you get mad, so you say, "Well, I think that you do, so I think you're being really shitty and stuck up about this and I feel like I've been completely wronged."
  • Guy Friend: Oh, my God. That's so fucked up of me. I would never do that to Will. Will was nice. We were buds. That's way screwed.
  • Me: I know, right? Hey, just wondering, have you ever heard of this fictional place called "The Friendzone?"
  • Guy Friend: Well, yeah, but...
  • Guy Friend: ...
  • Guy Friend: ...
  • Guy Friend: oh

Two headed boy, all floating in glass.The sun it has passed, now it’s blacker than black.I can hear as you tap on your jar;I am listening to hear where you are.I am listening to hear where you are.

Two headed boy, all floating in glass.
The sun it has passed, now it’s blacker than black.
I can hear as you tap on your jar;
I am listening to hear where you are.
I am listening to hear where you are.

nakedcuddles:

appropriately-inappropriate:

vickiexz:


penjolina:

piddlebucket:

randomstabbing:

hilariousslut:

aliveforalittlewhile:

warcrimenancydrew:

historywhore:

warcrimenancydrew:

do you guys remember that one post about how men feel entitled to take up so much space and women have to deal with a lot less?

This is actually a documented thing. You always see men on the subway or tube or whatever using both armrests while women sit with their arms hunched together into their laps. That’s why I always make a point to take up at least one if not both armrests of the tube so men can be uncomfortable for once.

^ again, for all the people telling me posting this picture is complaining too much.

In my college classes (and high school too) guys were always stretching, sticking fists and elbows in my face, leaning their heads back over my desk, over my work, spreading their legs out, kicking my bag with their dirty shoes. And let’s not pretend they were in other guys’ space as much as they were in women’s.

It’s so true, this happens to me every day on the train. Same with the walking thing, women will weave out of the way whereas men just walk straight and plow down anything in their path. I always end up playing chicken with men on the sidewalk now, because I refuse to move out of their way.

I love playing chicken with dudes who hog the sidewalk. BODY CHECK! Fucking assholes.
“NOT ALL MEN ARE LIKE THIS!” FUCK OFF.
“AS A MAN, I THINK THAT…” FUCK OFF.
Men always have the same defensive bullshit to spout every time they get called out on their shit. AND IT IS BORING. They remind me of those toys where you pull a string an they have like 5 phrases they can say. Over and over and over.

same here with playing chicken, its hilarious sometimes because they get this flash of realization in their eyes that says ‘holy shit, she’s NOT going to move/??? what do????’ because THEY ARE SO USED TO EVERYONE MOVING FOR THEM

when i was younger my grandpa drew this on a piece of paper,

and he asked me how i, as the red circle, would get around the two people (black circles) if i was walking down the street.
so of course i came back with

moving out of the way for them as i walked.
he asked me if i thought men would do the same and, at the time, i did because i thought it was just common courtesy. but he told me that men would barrel straight through without giving a shit and that i should do the exact same. because i was the one walking and they were the ones in the way. so that’s exactly what i do.


i find this really fascinating because this actually what defines so-called masculine and feminine traits and gestures. the whole limp-wrist thing? that’s someone decreasing the amount of space they take up by not extending their arm fully. same with crossing one’s legs, how it’s considered more masculine to swing your shoulders when you walk creating a wider gait instead of your hips, how someone who holds their elbows tightly into their torso instead of letting them fall more loosely at their sides is considered feminine.
taking up space is not just a frequent habit of males in our culture, its actually how society thinks masculinity is supposed to be expressed.

It’s also why you can seriously freak people out if you’re a woman by sitting back in your chair and draping your arm over the backrest of the one beside it.
Try it.
It’s claiming space, and more importantly, it’s powerful body language. In primates (including humans), the individual that “opens” its chest—that is, leaves it open to attack—is the most dominant of them, precisely because it shows a confidence that no one WILL attack you.
Look at someone who’s comfortable vs someone who’s uncomfortable—the uncomfortable person will inevitably cross their arms or cover their chest to in an instinct to protect the thoracic cavity.
So, when you want to look HELLA confident, open up your chest and make direct eye contact. It feels weird (for women!) at first, but it’s the fastest way to freak a dude out. They genuinely do not know what to do when a woman displays behaviour they recognize as confident.

This was interesting. Literally never thought about it before. 

nakedcuddles:

appropriately-inappropriate:

vickiexz:

penjolina:

piddlebucket:

randomstabbing:

hilariousslut:

aliveforalittlewhile:

warcrimenancydrew:

historywhore:

warcrimenancydrew:

do you guys remember that one post about how men feel entitled to take up so much space and women have to deal with a lot less?

This is actually a documented thing. You always see men on the subway or tube or whatever using both armrests while women sit with their arms hunched together into their laps. That’s why I always make a point to take up at least one if not both armrests of the tube so men can be uncomfortable for once.

^ again, for all the people telling me posting this picture is complaining too much.

In my college classes (and high school too) guys were always stretching, sticking fists and elbows in my face, leaning their heads back over my desk, over my work, spreading their legs out, kicking my bag with their dirty shoes. And let’s not pretend they were in other guys’ space as much as they were in women’s.

It’s so true, this happens to me every day on the train. Same with the walking thing, women will weave out of the way whereas men just walk straight and plow down anything in their path. I always end up playing chicken with men on the sidewalk now, because I refuse to move out of their way.

I love playing chicken with dudes who hog the sidewalk. BODY CHECK! Fucking assholes.

“NOT ALL MEN ARE LIKE THIS!” FUCK OFF.

“AS A MAN, I THINK THAT…” FUCK OFF.

Men always have the same defensive bullshit to spout every time they get called out on their shit. AND IT IS BORING. They remind me of those toys where you pull a string an they have like 5 phrases they can say. Over and over and over.

same here with playing chicken, its hilarious sometimes because they get this flash of realization in their eyes that says ‘holy shit, she’s NOT going to move/??? what do????’ because THEY ARE SO USED TO EVERYONE MOVING FOR THEM

when i was younger my grandpa drew this on a piece of paper,

and he asked me how i, as the red circle, would get around the two people (black circles) if i was walking down the street.

so of course i came back with

moving out of the way for them as i walked.

he asked me if i thought men would do the same and, at the time, i did because i thought it was just common courtesy. but he told me that men would barrel straight through without giving a shit and that i should do the exact same. because i was the one walking and they were the ones in the way. so that’s exactly what i do.

i find this really fascinating because this actually what defines so-called masculine and feminine traits and gestures. the whole limp-wrist thing? that’s someone decreasing the amount of space they take up by not extending their arm fully. same with crossing one’s legs, how it’s considered more masculine to swing your shoulders when you walk creating a wider gait instead of your hips, how someone who holds their elbows tightly into their torso instead of letting them fall more loosely at their sides is considered feminine.

taking up space is not just a frequent habit of males in our culture, its actually how society thinks masculinity is supposed to be expressed.

It’s also why you can seriously freak people out if you’re a woman by sitting back in your chair and draping your arm over the backrest of the one beside it.

Try it.

It’s claiming space, and more importantly, it’s powerful body language. In primates (including humans), the individual that “opens” its chest—that is, leaves it open to attack—is the most dominant of them, precisely because it shows a confidence that no one WILL attack you.

Look at someone who’s comfortable vs someone who’s uncomfortable—the uncomfortable person will inevitably cross their arms or cover their chest to in an instinct to protect the thoracic cavity.

So, when you want to look HELLA confident, open up your chest and make direct eye contact. It feels weird (for women!) at first, but it’s the fastest way to freak a dude out. They genuinely do not know what to do when a woman displays behaviour they recognize as confident.

This was interesting. Literally never thought about it before.